A Collection of Humorous Mondegreens

The word Mondegreen, meaning a mishearing of a popular phrase or song lyric, was coined by the writer Sylvia Wright.

As a child she had heard the Scottish ballad "The Bonny Earl of Murray" and had believed that one stanza went like this:

Ye Highlands and Ye Lowlands
Oh where hae you been?
They hae slay the Earl of Murray,
And Lady Mondegreen.

Poor Lady Mondegreen, thought Sylvia Wright. A tragic heroine dying with her liege; how poetic. When it turned out, some years later, that what they had actually done was slay the Earl of Murray and lay him on the green, Wright was so distraught by the sudden disappearance of her heroine that she memorialized her with a neologism.

Listed below are my favorites. Please enjoy them and drop me a line if you think I should add one...

 

ARTIST

 

Mondegreen

Actual Lyric

 

Song TITLE

Led Zeppelin

and there's a wino down the road - I should have stolen Oreos

and as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls

Stairway to Heaven

Van Halen

Running With my billfold

Running With the Devil

Running With the Devil

 

Steve Winwood

bake me a pie of love OR bring me an iron lung!

I can light bananas with my nose on fire!

bring me a higher love

I can light the night up with my soul on fire

Higher Love

 

ZZ Top


Everybody's crazy 'bout a shot glass man

Everybody's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

Sharp-Dressed Man

Paul Young


every time you go away you take a piece of meat with you

every time you go away you take a piece of me with you

Every Time You Go Away

Verve Pipe

I could not believe we'd ever dock forty cents
or
I could not believe we ever got forty cents

I could not believe we'd ever die for these sins

Freshmen

U2

I can see those spider veins

I can see those fighter planes

Bullet the Blue Sky

The Steve Miller Band

Big Old Jed had a light on

big old jet airliner

Jet Airliner

Johnny Rivers

secret Asian man

secret agent man

Secret Agent Man

The Ramones

I want a piece of bacon

I wanna be sedated

I Wanna Be Sedated

Queen

you've got mud on your face, front disc brakes

you've got mud on your face, a big disgrace

We Will Rock You

 

I sometimes wish I'd never been boiled in oil

sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

Bohemian Rhapsody

Pretenders

I'm standing in the middle of life with my pants behind me

I'm standing in the middle of life with my pains behind me

Middle of the Road

Elvis Presley

Everybody in a wholesale frock

everybody in the whole cell block

Jailhouse Rock

The Police

his car has four-wheel drive

his car is warm and dry

Don't Stand So Close to Me

 

a year has passed since I broke my nose

a year has passed since I wrote my note

Message in a Bottle

Pink Floyd



no dukes of hazzard in the classroom
or
no dogs orgasm in the classroom

no dark sarcasm in the classroom

Another Brick in the Wall

Pearl Jam

Jeremy's smokin' crack today

Jeremy spoke in class today

Jeremy

Robert Palmer

I've got a backache from loving you

I've got a bad case of loving you

Loving You

The Motels

It's like I told you, only the lonely get laid

It's like I told you, only the lonely can play

Only the Lonely

Eddie Money

I've got two chickens with parrot eyes!

I've got two tickets to paradise

Two Tickets to Paradise

John Cougar

changes come around real soon; naked swimming in bed

changes come around real soon, make us women and men

Jack and Diane

Mannfred Mann's Earth Band

wrapped up like a douche, you know the rumor in the night

revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night

Blinded By the Light

Madonna

we are living in a Cheerio world, and I am a Cheerio girl

we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl

Material Girl

 

last night I wanked off some Dago
or

last night I dreamt of some bagels

last night I dreamt of San Pedro

La Isla Bonita

 

Gonna dress you up in nylons

Gonna dress you up in my love

Dress You Up

Journey

you make me eat....but I'm on a diet!

you make me weak, I'm gonna die

Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

Elton John

Rocket man, burning all the trees off every lawn

Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone

Rocket Man

 

B-b-b-Betty in a dress

B-b-b-Bennie and the Jets

Bennie and the Jets

Michael Jackson

her heavy head turned to ice cream, being the one

then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one

Billie Jean

Billy Idol

I supply the face

Eyes without a face

Eyes Without a Face

Don Henley

after the poison summer has gone

after the boys of summer have gone

Boys of Summer

Crystal Gayle

Doughnuts make my brown eyes blue

Don't it make my brown eyes blue

Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue

Peter Gabriel

don't you know you've got two chocolate monkeys?

don't you know you've got to shock the monkey

Shock the Monkey

Fleetwood Mac

when the rainbow shaves you clean, you'll know

when the rain washes you clean you'll know

Dreams

Roberta Flack

stuffing my face with his fingers

strumming my fate with his fingers

Killing Me Softly

Jose Feliciano

Police have a dog

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad

England Dan and John Ford Cowley

I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen or
I'm not talkin' bout religion

I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in

I'd Really Love to See You Tonight

ELO

stretch my dick
or strain my dick

strange magic

Strange Magic

 

Medieval woman
or
He is a woman

evil woman

Evil Woman

Eagles

warm smell of policemen rising up through the air
or
warm smell of collegiates rising up through the air

warm smell of colitas rising up through the air

Hotel California

Neil Diamond

you hardly talk to me anymore, when I Kung Fu the door at the end of the day

you hardly talk to me anymore, when I come through the door at the end of the day

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

 

Selsun Blue

song sung blue

Song Sung Blue

 

reverend blue jeans

forever in blue jeans

Forever in Blue Jeans

Devo

Tattoo Detective!

try to detect it!

Whip It

Coolio

I'm an educated fool with my knee on my mind

I' m an educated fool with money on my mind

Gangsta's Paradise

Paula Cole

Where is my JonBenet; where is my prairie dog?

Where is my John Wayne; where is my Prairie Son?

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone

The Clash

I really don't like him... Doctor Cashpot, Doctor Cashpot

sharif don't like it - rock the casbah, rock the casbah

Rock the Casbah

Eric Clapton

Won't you be my bald-headed woman? I want to be your bald-headed man
or
Won't you be my four-level woman? I want to be your four-level man

Won't you be my forever woman? I want to be your forever man

Forever Man

Chumbawumba

I get locked out, so I go out again

I get knocked down, but I get up again

Tubthumping

Chicago

if she would have been paid for

if she would have been faithful

If She Would Have Been Faithful

Kim Carnes

all the boys think she's a spaz

all the boys think she's a spy

Bette Davis Eyes

 

She's got better days, besides!

she's got Bette Davis eyes

 

Irene Cara

Take your pants down, and make it happen

Take your passion and make it happen

Flashdance

Jimmy Buffett

Blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-tart

Blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-top

Margaritaville

 

looking for my lost Digger the Dog

looking for my last shaker of salt

 

Pat Benatar

hit me with your pet shark

hit me with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

Bryan Adams

starin' at my momma's corpse, the summer'd seem to last forever

standing on my momma's porch, the summer'd seem to last forever

Summer of '69

Bachman Turner Overdrive

Makin' carrot biscuits

Taking Care of Business

Taking Care of Business

Elton John

Hold me closer, Tony Danza

Hold me closer tiny dancer

Tiny Dancer

Jimi Hendrix

'Scuse me while I kiss this guy

'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

Purple Haze

Beatles

The girl with colitis goes by

The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

 

She's got a tic in her eye

She's got a ticket to ride

Ticket to Ride

Creedence Clearwater Revival

There's a bathroom on the right or
There's a baboon on the rise

There's a bad moon on the rise

Bad Moon Rising

Billy Squier

Strolling stuntman

Stroke me, stroke me

The Stroke

Deep Purple

Slow walking Walter, the fire engine guy

Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

Smoke on the Water

 

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