A Collection of Humorous Mondegreens
The word Mondegreen, meaning a mishearing of a popular phrase or song lyric, was coined by the writer Sylvia Wright.
As a child she had heard the Scottish ballad "The Bonny Earl of Murray" and had believed that one stanza went like this:
Ye Highlands and Ye Lowlands
Oh where hae you been?
They hae slay the Earl of Murray,
And Lady Mondegreen.
Poor Lady Mondegreen, thought Sylvia Wright. A tragic heroine dying with her liege; how poetic. When it turned out, some years later, that what they had actually done was slay the Earl of Murray and lay him on the green, Wright was so distraught by the sudden disappearance of her heroine that she memorialized her with a neologism.
Listed below are my favorites. Please enjoy them and
drop me a line if you think I should add one...
ARTIST |
Mondegreen |
Actual Lyric |
Song TITLE |
Led Zeppelin |
and there's a wino down the road - I should have stolen Oreos |
and as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls |
Stairway to Heaven |
Van Halen |
Running With my billfold |
Running With the Devil |
Running With the Devil |
Steve Winwood |
bake me a pie of love OR bring me an iron lung! I can light bananas with my nose on fire! |
bring me a higher love I can light the night up with my soul on fire |
Higher Love |
ZZ Top |
Everybody's crazy 'bout a shot glass man |
Everybody's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man |
Sharp-Dressed Man |
Paul Young |
every time you go away you take a piece of meat with you |
every time you go away you take a piece of me with you |
Every Time You Go Away |
Verve Pipe |
I could not believe we'd ever dock forty cents |
I could not believe we'd ever die for these sins |
Freshmen |
U2 |
I can see those spider veins |
I can see those fighter planes |
Bullet the Blue Sky |
The Steve Miller Band |
Big Old Jed had a light on |
big old jet airliner |
Jet Airliner |
Johnny Rivers |
secret Asian man |
secret agent man |
Secret Agent Man |
The Ramones |
I want a piece of bacon |
I wanna be sedated |
I Wanna Be Sedated |
Queen |
you've got mud on your face, front disc brakes |
you've got mud on your face, a big disgrace |
We Will Rock You |
I sometimes wish I'd never been boiled in oil |
sometimes wish I'd never been born at all |
Bohemian Rhapsody |
|
Pretenders |
I'm standing in the middle of life with my pants behind me |
I'm standing in the middle of life with my pains behind me |
Middle of the Road |
Elvis Presley |
Everybody in a wholesale frock |
everybody in the whole cell block |
Jailhouse Rock |
The Police |
his car has four-wheel drive |
his car is warm and dry |
Don't Stand So Close to Me |
a year has passed since I broke my nose |
a year has passed since I wrote my note |
Message in a Bottle |
|
Pink Floyd |
no dukes of hazzard in the classroom |
no dark sarcasm in the classroom |
Another Brick in the Wall |
Pearl Jam |
Jeremy's smokin' crack today |
Jeremy spoke in class today |
Jeremy |
Robert Palmer |
I've got a backache from loving you |
I've got a bad case of loving you |
Loving You |
The Motels |
It's like I told you, only the lonely get laid |
It's like I told you, only the lonely can play |
Only the Lonely |
Eddie Money |
I've got two chickens with parrot eyes! |
I've got two tickets to paradise |
Two Tickets to Paradise |
John Cougar |
changes come around real soon; naked swimming in bed |
changes come around real soon, make us women and men |
Jack and Diane |
Mannfred Mann's Earth Band |
wrapped up like a douche, you know the rumor in the night |
revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night |
Blinded By the Light |
Madonna |
we are living in a Cheerio world, and I am a Cheerio girl |
we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl |
Material Girl |
last night I wanked off some Dago last night I dreamt of some bagels |
last night I dreamt of San Pedro |
La Isla Bonita |
|
Gonna dress you up in nylons |
Gonna dress you up in my love |
Dress You Up |
|
Journey |
you make me eat....but I'm on a diet! |
you make me weak, I'm gonna die |
Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' |
Elton John |
Rocket man, burning all the trees off every lawn |
Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone |
Rocket Man |
B-b-b-Betty in a dress |
B-b-b-Bennie and the Jets |
Bennie and the Jets |
|
Michael Jackson |
her heavy head turned to ice cream, being the one |
then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one |
Billie Jean |
Billy Idol |
I supply the face |
Eyes without a face |
Eyes Without a Face |
Don Henley |
after the poison summer has gone |
after the boys of summer have gone |
Boys of Summer |
Crystal Gayle |
Doughnuts make my brown eyes blue |
Don't it make my brown eyes blue |
Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue |
Peter Gabriel |
don't you know you've got two chocolate monkeys? |
don't you know you've got to shock the monkey |
Shock the Monkey |
Fleetwood Mac |
when the rainbow shaves you clean, you'll know |
when the rain washes you clean you'll know |
Dreams |
Roberta Flack |
stuffing my face with his fingers |
strumming my fate with his fingers |
Killing Me Softly |
Jose Feliciano |
Police have a dog |
Feliz Navidad |
Feliz Navidad |
England Dan and John Ford Cowley |
I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen or |
I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in |
I'd Really Love to See You Tonight |
ELO |
stretch my dick |
strange magic |
Strange Magic |
Medieval woman |
evil woman |
Evil Woman |
|
Eagles |
warm smell of policemen rising up through the air |
warm smell of colitas rising up through the air |
Hotel California |
Neil Diamond |
you hardly talk to me anymore, when I Kung Fu the door at the end of the day |
you hardly talk to me anymore, when I come through the door at the end of the day |
You Don't Bring Me Flowers |
Selsun Blue |
song sung blue |
Song Sung Blue |
|
reverend blue jeans |
forever in blue jeans |
Forever in Blue Jeans |
|
Devo |
Tattoo Detective! |
try to detect it! |
Whip It |
Coolio |
I'm an educated fool with my knee on my mind |
I' m an educated fool with money on my mind |
Gangsta's Paradise |
Paula Cole |
Where is my JonBenet; where is my prairie dog? |
Where is my John Wayne; where is my Prairie Son? |
Where Have All the Cowboys Gone |
The Clash |
I really don't like him... Doctor Cashpot, Doctor Cashpot |
sharif don't like it - rock the casbah, rock the casbah |
Rock the Casbah |
Eric Clapton |
Won't you be my bald-headed woman? I want to be your bald-headed man |
Won't you be my forever woman? I want to be your forever man |
Forever Man |
Chumbawumba |
I get locked out, so I go out again |
I get knocked down, but I get up again |
Tubthumping |
Chicago |
if she would have been paid for |
if she would have been faithful |
If She Would Have Been Faithful |
Kim Carnes |
all the boys think she's a spaz |
all the boys think she's a spy |
Bette Davis Eyes |
She's got better days, besides! |
she's got Bette Davis eyes |
||
Irene Cara |
Take your pants down, and make it happen |
Take your passion and make it happen |
Flashdance |
Jimmy Buffett |
Blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-tart |
Blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-top |
Margaritaville |
looking for my lost Digger the Dog |
looking for my last shaker of salt |
||
Pat Benatar |
hit me with your pet shark |
hit me with your best shot |
Hit me with your best shot |
Bryan Adams |
starin' at my momma's corpse, the summer'd seem to last forever |
standing on my momma's porch, the summer'd seem to last forever |
Summer of '69 |
Bachman Turner Overdrive |
Makin' carrot biscuits |
Taking Care of Business |
Taking Care of Business |
Elton John |
Hold me closer, Tony Danza |
Hold me closer tiny dancer |
Tiny Dancer |
Jimi Hendrix |
'Scuse me while I kiss this guy |
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky |
Purple Haze |
Beatles |
The girl with colitis goes by |
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes |
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds |
She's got a tic in her eye |
She's got a ticket to ride |
Ticket to Ride |
|
Creedence Clearwater Revival |
There's a bathroom on the right or |
There's a bad moon on the rise |
Bad Moon Rising |
Billy Squier |
Strolling stuntman |
Stroke me, stroke me |
The Stroke |
Deep Purple |
Slow walking Walter, the fire engine guy |
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky |
Smoke on the Water |