Relationship, Dating or Intimate Partner Violence

Definition

Dating violence is a type of intimate partner violence, also called domestic violence. This form of violence occurs when two people know each other and have been involved in a relationship. The term “intimate partner violence” describes physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse. This type of violence can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples and does not require sexual intimacy.

Statistics

According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), 2013

  • On average, 20 people per minute are victims of physical violence by an intimate partner in the US
  • Over the course of a year, 10 million women and men are victims of intimate partner violence
  • Nearly 2 million women are raped in a year and over 7 million women and men are victims of stalking annually

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

  • Gets angry when you hang out with other friends or people of the opposite sex.
  • Bosses you around.
  • Often gets in fights with other people or losses his or her temper.
  • Pressures you to have sex or do something sexual that you do not want to do.
  • Swears at you, calls you names, or uses mean language.
  • Uses drugs and alcohol, tries to pressure you into doing the same thing.
  • Blames you for his or her problems, or tells you that it is your fault that he or she hurt you.
  • Insults you or tries to embarrass you in front of other people.
  • Makes you feel scared of their reaction to things.
  • Always wants to know where you are going and who you are with.
  • Threatens your immigration status or keeps you from learning English.
  • Ignores or dismisses your ideas or things you want to do.
  • Accusing you of flirting or getting romantically involved with someone else.
  • Keep you from having money of your own or from using the car.
  • Criticizes your sexual performance or uses sex as a way to punish you.
  • Leaves you stranded in a dangerous place.
  • Refuses to help you out or keeps you from the doctor.

Warning Signs that Someone May be Abusive

  • Jealousy
  • Controlling Behavior
  • Quick involvement in the relationship
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Isolates the Partner
  • Blames others for problems
  • Hypersensitive
  • Cruelty towards animals/children
  • "Playful" use of force during sex
  • Verbal abuse
  • Belief in rigid sex roles
  • Extreme moods
  • Intimidation
  • Abusive in past relationships
  • Threatens violence
  • Breaks or destroys objects
  • Uses force during an argument
  • Has trouble controlling anger/temper
  • Depression
  • Dependency and attachment problems
  • Sense of entitlement
  • Low self-esteem

What you Can Do

  • Recognize that you do not deserve abuse and it is not your fault.
  • Acknowledge that you deserve respect and care within a relationship.
  • Understand that there are resources available; you are not alone.  Seek supportive counseling.
  • Develop a safety plan, for instance, have money and car keys hidden; seek a safe place.
  • Report the violence to family, friends, and law enforcement agencies.  

Community and National Resources

In an emergency, call the police at 911

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Houston Area Women's Center (713) 528-2121
Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse http://avda-tx.org/v2/
Teen and Young Adult Dating Abuse Helpline loveisrespect.org
Texas Council of Family Violence http://www.tcfv.org/
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.ncadv.org/

University of Houston Campus Resources

UH Department of Public Safety Emergency: 911
Information: (713) 743-0600 or (713) 743-333
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) (713) 743-5454
Women and Gender Resource Center (832) 842-6191
UH Health Center (713) 743-5151
UH Wellness Department (713) 743-5430