Mental Health Tips of the Month

Tips for Healthy Dating

February 2015

Love is in the air. With Valentine’s Day coming around this month, we thought we’d share some tips that may help you navigate the romantic aspects of your life this semester.

Dating Advice #1: Don’t force it
If you are no longer enjoying the dating process, don’t force yourself to date. Stop dating if you’re burned out, in the wrong mindset or carrying residual baggage from the past. When you’re not having fun, the heavy energy of disappointment and skepticism will repel high quality partners, reinforcing all of the reasons why you don’t like dating. Get into the right frame of mind, open your heart and lighten your load.

Dating Advice #2: Don’t compare yourself to others
Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are on your own path in life and love. Your path is based on your experiences, what you need to learn and how you need to grow. The path your friend has taken may be more direct while your path may have more forks in the road. Both paths lead to the destination of love.

Dating Advice #3: Embrace your single status
If you hate being single, you may come across as too eager and desperate, which scares good partners away. This can also cloud your vision from seeing red flags because you’re fixated on being in a relationship. Take this time to embrace and enjoy your single status so that you can learn the lessons needed in order to move forward and create the love you desire.

Dating Advice #4: Be selective about who gets to go out with you
Instead of going out with just anyone who asks you out, be selective. Only date those who are deserving of being with you. A person deserves to date you if they makes you a priority, calls when they says they’re going to, communicates in between the times you see each other, makes time to see you and treats you well. Being selective reinforces positive feelings and gives you better dating experiences.

Dating Advice #4: Set the pace and standards
When you take your time dating, you learn if they are looking for a fling or if they are interested in getting to know all of who you are for a long-term relationship. Setting the pace and standards will bring forth the partner who is right for you. This approach increases the probability of turning your dates into a promising relationship.

Dating Advice #6: Look for like-minded individuals
Having common interests or shared circumstances makes it easier to break the ice, and you're more likely to pick events that you'll both enjoy. Is there a classmate who loves Civil War history as much as you do? A coworker whose spread in "Farmville" is even bigger than yours? There's your cue.

Dating Advice # 7: Don’t forget your friendships
Finding a new love and ditching your friends is the biggest mistake people make. Keeping friendships a priority in your life will help maintain your sense of self and identity. Too often, people lose themselves in relationships. Your new love doesn’t necessarily have to like all your friends, but if they love you, they’ll respect that you need time for both friends and love in your life.

If you would like to learn more about healthy dating, come to a Let’s Talk station (see schedule below) for a brief informal consultation with a CAPS clinician, or call CAPS at 713-743-5454 to schedule an initial appointment.

Let’s Talk Locations and Hours
Students do not have to be a current resident of a residence hall to utilize the Let’s Talk consultation.

Monday Agnes Arnold Hall Breezeway
Cougar Village II
12:00 - 1:00pm
5:00 - 7:00pm
Tuesday Athletics Academics Offices (2108C)
CRWC Wellness Classroom
Cougar Village I
1:30 - 2:30pm
3:00 - 4:00pm
4:00 - 6:00pm
Wednesday Moody Towers Breezeway
AD Bruce Religion Center Conference Room
1:00 - 2:00pm
4:00 - 5:30pm
Thursday Center for Diversity and Inclusion, UC B12 1:00 - 2:30pm